April is an odd month to write about giving gifts.  Usually, I reserve this topic for the holiday marathon we all go through in the fourth quarter each year.  But the reality is that we give gifts all year–birthdays, anniversaries, milestone achievements and of course, the many “other” holidays we are called upon to memorialize with a gift.  (Note to my dear daughters: Mother’s Day is right around the corner.)

Our first impulse on any of those occasions is to head to the store to buy something, wrap it and proudly deliver it to the person of honor.  Maybe it’s time to think about gift giving differently. Would you rather have another sweater, gift card or tchotchke? Or some uninterrupted quality time to spend with the people you care about?

I began to ponder this during a recent mega gift-giving moment in the life of my own family: The celebration of my father-in-law’s 90th birthday.

Our goal: an intimate immediate-family-only dinner party to celebrate this age milestone. Sounds simple, right? It is simple–until you factor in the realities of modern family life.  The 10 members of our family are spread across six states. All five grandchildren are in college or boarding school and, in April, on the nail-biting edge of finals.   Getting everyone to dinner involved expensive airfares, complex logistics and a willingness to endure a little more stress than usual.

As you would suspect, an enormous amount of time was spent emailing family members,  arranging and paying  for travel, setting up our house to host the family, preparing food,  packing and travelling. All that time went into phase one of this simple family birthday dinner.

Once everyone agreed to the date – a feat in itself – we focused on the dinner and including the birthday boy’s favorites. Dover sole for dinner and pink tulips for decoration, neither easily obtained in April in the Midwest. More time invested in the details.

When the celebration weekend–and all of the houseguests–arrived, we still had not settled on a traditional “gift.”  After some discussion, one daughter settled on champagne; a son on a box of chocolates.  But, I wondered, were those purchased gifts even necessary?

That night at the birthday dinner, Papa regaled us with stories of his life. He was at Pearl Harbor in the Navy when the bombs dropped – and was not amused when he was turned away recently at the Pearl Harbor memorial because of the reduced hours due to budget cuts. He told the grandkids that he saw the Navy as an adventure he was keen to take on when he graduated from college and before he began his professional career – a risk he never regretted taking.
He ended his night of story-telling saying “thank-you” to us and explaining how he ends each day by saying a prayer for each one of us every night.

There it was again- time as a gift.  His gift of time to us in story-telling and prayer each night; our gifts of time listening, showing up, arranging the event.  Time.  The best gift with the highest rewards.  The one that is – often- the hardest to give.  The gift that cannot be bought or wrapped.  The gift we all cherish the most, but tend to value the least when we give it to others.  I closed my eyes that night wondering why it was so hard to consider time a gift – especially when that is what people want from us most of all.

My all-time favorite gifts in my life, the ones that I cherish and remember even today?  The “love-letter” I asked for and got from my husband for Christmas, 2005.  The many homemade cards, even when she was long past the craft stage, from my oldest daughter Allison. And the set of playing cards, on a ring, from my youngest entitled: 52 reasons why I love you – with a reason on each and every card.  All these gifts took time, more time than money, and mean more to me than any store bought gift I have ever received.

So, this summer, give the gift of time with greater confidence.  Know that it is a true gift that pays you back so much more profoundly for your investment than the store-bought versions.  Know that the receiver of this gift of time places great value on the gift. Slow down and make a few memories. Set an example and make time for those you love and those who need your time the most. Look around and I am sure you will see opportunity abounds for the investment of your time in others.

So happy birthday, Papa.  And thanks for the reminder that time has great value, pays extraordinary dividends when invested in others and is the most priceless of gifts one can give.

Do you have a priceless gift story?  If so, please tell me about it.  I’d love to hear your story!

Susan

Life has a way of surprising us – and our last 13 years as entrepreneurs did exactly that!  Always appreciate a good journalist who really listens like Bill Fay and helps us get our message out about the importance of reaching and teaching kids about the choices they have for money!

Former Bank Senior Vice President Teaches Kids Basics of Finance – Debt.org

We all make mistakes – that is how we learn.  Writer Terri Cettina asked me how to handle kids money mistakes and was surprised when I cheered the idea!

How to Handle Kids’ Money Mistakes – Eqiufax

#9 of the Top 10 things NOT to say to your kids about $$$ – “Money doesn’t grow on trees!”

 Instead, you should say “Make a list of your needs and wants and let’s talk about how you can earn some money to save to get what you need and want.”

 Click below to view each of the prior things not to say to kids about money:

#1 of 10,  #2 of 10,  #3 of 10 ,  #4 of 10,  #5 of 10,  #6 of 10,  #7 of 10 and  #8 of 10.

The holidays are just around the corner, so it’s time to start thinking about how you can start saving now to get all those gifts on your family’s and friends’ wish lists.  My friend Andi guided me to a post by Lila Quintiliani on the Military America Saves site which offers some great tips to help you get started.  

 5 Tips for Saving Before the Holidays – by Lila Quintiliani MilitarySaves.org

Do you have other tips you’d like to add? Please add your comments below!

Last week I received the following question – one that I know many parents face:

“Every time I go shopping, [my kids] always ask me to buy the toy, stuff, something they do not need - just something to buy.  Can you give me advice for this problem?  Thank you”
- Linh

 I am not sure the age of your children, but when I went through this with my children I relied on The Berenstain Bears by Jan and Stan Berenstain.  The Berenstain Bears “Get the Gimmies” is a great one. It’s just easier for a child to hear advice from someone other than a parent at times.  However, the most impactful teacher in a child’s life about money is a parent.  So, speak your mind in an age appropriate way and then follow that up with some help from another voice – like that of the Berenstain Bears!

#7 of 10 things NOT to say to your kids about $$$: “We’ll get that or do that when we win the lottery.”

Since the chance of winning the lottery are one in 12 million, you have a better chance of being struck by lightning (1 in 1.9 million).  So what you should say is…”Let’s make a list of what we need and want and start to save and invest towards those goals.”  Much better chances!

Click here for #1 of 10, #2 of 10, #3 of 10 ,#4 of 10, #5 of 10 and #6 of 10.

Last week I shared some money tips with journalist Kim Palmer of U.S. News & World Report.  Here is the full list she published to help families get off to a good start this school year.  Let me know what you think of these tips and some other things your family does to get off on the right foot each school year.

 “The Best Back-to-School Money Lessons for Kids” from U.S. News & World Report.

#6 of 10 things NOT to say to your kids about Money: “Yes”

When we should say…”No.”  Most kids are trying to learn what is okay and what is not okay when they are asking for things. Each request is a teachable moment for parents to introduce the difference between “wants” and “needs” and how to best plan for those needs and wants.

Click here for #1 of 10, #2 of 10, #3 of 10 ,#4 of 10 and #5 of 10.

In this past Sunday’s Chicago Tribune, our award-winning app for kids, Savings Spree, was featured in an article about apps to teach kids the basics of savings and spending wisely.  Here’s a link to the article:  “Thrift?  There’s an app for that”

Thanks to our friend, Lou Carlozo of Reuters, for including our app in this great resource article for families.  If you haven’t tried Savings Spree yet, here’s a brief video demo to see how kids can learn about money choices and the impact of those choices with the Money Savvy Pig as the host:

If you want to see more, here’s the long version of the demo: