Here are a few more suggestions to help your family prepare now to keep the upcoming holidays less stressful and remain a celebration:

3.) Make a list and check it twice:  Everybody needs to make a list of those people they want to give a gift to this season.  Next to the name, estimate the cost of that gift.  Add it up.  If it is above your means, start to think creatively about gifts.

Literal translation: Grandparents love to get coupons that promise a call or a visit on a certain date.  For teachers, a coupon for “help!” on any project.  For anyone, baked goods.  I cannot tell you how much banana bread I have made with my girls every holiday season.  They love to do this and everyone loves to receive something sweet.

4.) Brainstorm ways to come up with a little extra cash:  Ask for ideas on ways to save so more of the family budget can be applied to giving. 

Literal translation: Walk or bike verses driving saves on gas.  Library visits for books and movies and magazines save the prices of purchasing or renting. 

5.) Name one must-have gift:  For kids, that might mean a present that they have been pining for since last Christmas.  Or it may be that the must-have gift is time with you! 

In my family, the day after Thanksgiving is a bigger deal than Christmas.  That’s the day we trim the tree with my mom and dad and make gingerbread houses together.  My girls are now 17 and 15, and they would be crushed if we did not do this.  This is what they want the most from the season. 

So ask your kids to be involved this year.  Have them help you set priorities for how the family will spend its resources of time, talent and cash this holiday season.  Make sure they know, that even during these wild financial times, you are there and your family will all be together no matter what the budget looks like.

I guarantee you that your kids are just like mine. They are not thinking about how the current economic crisis will impact the holiday season.  That is way too big a leap for most kids. However, you know it’s going to be a leaner season this year. But don’t get anxious. Your kids will feel the tension. Instead, start preparing now to ensure the upcoming season remains a celebration:

1.) Apply “KISS”: Keep your message to your kids simple, reassuring and literal, so they understand.

Literal translation: 
  Q:“Will we spend less on gifts this holiday season?”  
  A:“Yes”
  Q:“Does that mean we will not have any presents?”
  A:“No”

2.) Do not yell about money:       If you and your spouse have hostile exchanges about money, you increase the likelihood that your kids will have emotional and behavioral problems.  Literally, that translates into kids that will be depressed and anxious, have adjustment problems and poor peer relationships.

Don’t hide the truth – kids will pick up on your anxiety.  Gather for a family meal and explain that this year there is less money to go around. Then enlist their ideas to make a family plan for holiday celebrations. 

Literal translation: Suggest a family grab-bag this season.  Everyone gets a name and gives a gift of time, talent and money to that special person.

Let’s say Big Brother gets Mom in the grab-bag. He creates some coupons that spell out how he will give Mom his time and talent. Big Brother gives his time to Mom by offering to help younger kids with homework twice a week, and gives his talent by volunteering to make dinner every Wednesday for a month. Those coupons can be wrapped up along with a smaller gift bought with cash.

Kids always have great ideas for time and talent gifts. After your family meeting, suggest that each member of your family come up with a gift list that includes the time, talent and small purchased gift they covet and write that list on the slip of paper along with their name. That way, whoever pulls the name will know exactly what that special person desires.

Gifts of time and talent plus a smaller gift that requires cash will make the giving less self-centered and more family focused.

As I mentioned previously, one of my favorite holiday gift ideas is cash-free giving.  So what is this and how can you do it?  Here are a few great ideas for you and your children:

Give time
Parents and kids alike can give gifts of time. In fact, it is the thing we crave most. Create a coupon book for your child that offers things such as a free pass from a chore they hate. In my house, that would be doing the dishes. With school back in session, homework is heavy and getting to cash in a “free chore pass” is something they would cherish.

Grandparents would covet a coupon for a regular visit, in person or on the phone, from their grandchildren. Everybody wins with this idea. Grandparents get a visit they can count on and your child discovers the importance and benefits of spending time with family.

Even teachers might like a coupon book that gives them an extra hand in a pinch. Suggest your child make coupons offering to help with classroom cleanup or on a classroom project. Or you can offer to share your family culture by creating a special dish to share.

Encourage your children to think about people they know who might like a gift of time. Then, have fun working together to create your signature coupons. Next year, you may find that “time” is the first gift next to some of the names on your list.

Give Talent
Share the wealth. If you play an instrument or sing, take it on the road. If you are a musical family, prepare a private concert for the grandparents. If grandparents are far away, record the performance and send it along for them to enjoy again and again.

My daughters have given gifts to one another since they were young. It was one way of helping them realize that it was not all about them during the holidays. I also wanted them to see that they could and should take personal responsibility for remembering people during the holidays—starting with family.

When Allison was just learning to read, her gift was to read to her sister—as much and as long as Amanda wanted. I have this “gift” on video. Allison and Amanda are both sitting in a rocker and Allison, then about 4, is “reading” to her sister. Amanda was in heaven.

Help your child give a gift of time or talent by modeling that behavior yourself and by helping them decide what is within their time and talent to give.

Give a party
Make it a potluck that includes the kids. Your gift is the clean house and the beverages and the cleaning up after the party. Rent a video for the kids, or better yet, get to the library and check one out. It’s always hard to find a babysitter during the holidays so a party that includes the kids will be a welcome gift of a break and some fun for everyone.

Bake
I bake a lot. People LOVE it. I always seem to have bananas left over that go black before the girls eat them. And we all know that a banana that has “spots” cannot be seriously considered for consumption. So, I toss the black bananas in the freezer and make loads of banana bread as gifts. I add a bunch of mini-chocolate chips to the batter and that seems to make everyone very happy.

The girls used to ask me to make this bread for them to give as a thank you when they were going over to someone’s house for dinner or for an overnight visit. Recently, they have started making brownies when they need something to take. I’d like to think I modeled that behavior.

In my previous entry I listed a few ideas of how to help your children keep their holiday spending in check, especially in today’s economy.  Here are a few more ideas…

6. Use cash. This is especially important for your kids. They will learn the important lesson that when money is gone, it’s gone. Take only your budgeted amount with you when you go shopping.

7. Agree to shop with purpose. Hit the mall only twice for holiday shopping. When you’re there, stay on task. Don’t buy anything that isn’t on your list. If you happen upon something you’d like for yourself, put it on your own wish list. Better yet, wait until after the holidays and get it on clearance or with a gift card someone else gave you.

8. Choose the stores where you want to shop. Sounds strange, but make a list of the stores where you want to buy your holiday gifts and only shop those stores. Many times during the holiday, seasonal stores pop up selling stuff we never even considered buying. This kind of stuff is generally overpriced and plays on your holiday emotions. Don’t be tempted. Shop only the stores you shop regularly that have earned your loyalty due to their good value and quality.

9. As you shop, edit your list. You may find a great deal on one gift, which means you can spend less on that person on your list. That money can be applied to another person. However, never spend more than you have budgeted on a person until you find you have some money in your budget “bank” because you got a great deal somewhere else.

10. Exercise cash-free giving - This is one of my favorites as it costs nothing, but those who receive these gifts appreciate the thought and effort put into the gifts.  I’ll elaborate with some specific ideas next time…

By now, we all know that money is going to be tight this holiday season.  Our kids have been raised with high expectations for Santa, and its possible the jolly ‘ole guy in the red suit could fall short this year.  Keep your child’s expectations in check this year by getting them involved early in the gift giving and getting process - making a list and checking it twice.  Prepare your kids now, and you may find this holiday season one of your best yet.

1. Make a list. Start by asking your entire family to sit down together and make a list of people they want to remember with a gift this holiday season. Each family member should compile his or her own list. The list must be in writing. A written list is easier to focus on because it is tangible.  Also ask each family member to create their own “wish list”, with the top three items listed in order of importance.  Kids hand off their wish lists to mom and dad and mom and dad to each other.

For Santa devotees, explain that you want to estimate the costs for Santa.  Armed with this list and the costs, you can talk about making it easier on Santa to meet everybody’s needs, not just theirs.  Talk about what is the most important item on the wish list and mark it with a star and send it off to Santa now!

2. Set a spending budget. Now that you know how many people are on your list, write a dollar amount next to each name. That is how much you would like to spend on that person. Total up the list to see what kind of money you are thinking about spending. (Remember, the amount you plan to spend on a person can be $0 if you can come up with creative and free gifts such as a home-made coupon book promising hugs and kisses for Grandma.) Compare the potential costs.

3. Cut the budget down to size. Once you have the total, chances are it will add up to way too much money. Now is the time to cut the list and trim the budget. It may mean cutting certain people or it may mean spending less on one person or another. Do whatever it takes to bring the budget within your means.

4. Create an earning/savings plan. Now that you have a list and a budget, where is all that money going to come from? Talk about a plan to set aside money from earnings. Help your children create a job list that will help them earn the money they need to pay for the gifts they want to give.

5. Don’t shop without your list. As a family, agree only to shop with the list and budget in hand. Also, agree only to buy for those on the list and at the amount specified.

These are just a few ideas to help you get started this holiday season.  I’ll share some additional thoughts in the next couple days.

In these very uncertain economic times, if you feel out of control, imagine how your kids feel. Abundance is possibly all they have known since the day they were born. To help them, ( and you) survive and thrive in this new economy, here are some money savvy tips that will save more than a few pennies and teach kids how to live rich while spending less:

Shop with a list. Whether you are going to the mall or to the grocery store, it’s time to go back to shopping with a list. Buy only what is on the list. Have your kids make a list of what they want and what they need. “Needs” are always at the top of the list and “wants” don’t get purchased until “needs” are met.

Carry only cash. The best way to avoid spending more than you have is to use cash. Kids don’t understand credit until they learn that when money is gone, it is gone. So, only allow your kids to use cash. Set an example by using cash yourself. It is impossible to spend more than you have when you use cash, provided that the cash didn’t come from a cash advance against your credit card!

Clean your closet. Kids need to be reminded of what they already have. They forget - and cleaning a closet reveals long ago treasures that can be used again rather than buying new.

Trade. Encourage kids to “trade” jeans and gently used clothing, sports and hobby equipment and other accessories with friends. Rather than a trip to the mall, host a “trading” party at your house. As the saying goes, your trash is my treasure!

Use the library. Remember that place – the one with all the books, videos and magazines for free? Have the kids peddle their bikes or take public transportation to the local library once a week to get all the entertainment they need for free.

Don’t eat out. Cook as a family. It’s fun and much cheaper than eating out. Kids learn how to make a meal and families have time together that won’t cost more than the time it takes to prepare and consume.

Turn off the lights. Even the youngest family member can get in the act with this tip. Assign younger children the job of making sure all lights are out in rooms when they are empty.

Start allowance. The best way to control your spending and your child’s spending is to start allowance. Sit down and talk about what expenses your child wants to manage and set an allowance for that amount. Allowance teaches your child to budget. Allowance allows you as a parent to discover what is really important to your child. Children will spend our money all day long, but theirs will be spent only on what they truly want and need.

Get a job. When kids earn their own money, they look at that cash through new eyes. You and your kids will discover that it’s much harder for them to spend their own earned money than it is for them to spend money that you simply give them. Earned income is a powerful motivator to help them take personal responsibility for their own spending.

Keep track of savings. It’s important to show kids what the money savvy tips do for the family’s bottom line. Estimate the savings and put a portion of the savings against family debt and another portion into a family account that can be used for treats, like an occasional meal out or trip to the movies.

The market news is sobering and scary to many of us.  Our “money” is causing stress that our children are bound to pick up on in our behavior and conversation.    Right now is a good time to focus our nervous energy on putting the “DO” in Donate. Read the rest of this entry »

My girls have asked many times, “Are we rich?” Each time, I would answer that we were very rich because we had each other and our health. Read the rest of this entry »

Cash gets a bad rap from people who think that kids must learn to use plastic to succeed in our economy.  The rule in my world is coin before currency before checking before debit before credit.  Read the rest of this entry »

As I was listening to Governor Palin speak the other night, one thing caught my ear.  When she first came to office, she cut spending.  Out went the private jet, the cook and the driver.  After those cuts, she continued to control spending.  Now Alaska has a surplus.  I was nodding at the screen.  I thought, “Yep. that’s how it is done.”  Control spending, delay gratification and what you end up with is a surplus.  It’s not rocket science. It’s simple discipline.  Read the rest of this entry »

In a recent interview with People magazine, Senator Obama lists “allowance” as one of their families seven “Obama House Rules”.  Both daughters receive allowance the traditional way, money for chores, and dad acts as the bank.  Due to his intense travel schedule, he admits to not paying on time - but the girls keep track and remind him about what he owes them.  Read the rest of this entry »

It seems like a lot of school supplies are requested at the start of the school year. And, because sales abound - we are all tempted to get these supplies in quantities greater than we are asked because of the “sale”. This year, try an approach that has saved me time and money. Read the rest of this entry »